Husband, a blessing?

Really, don't get me wrong I love my husband....when he does what I ask him to do. Okay I am just kidding. You know ask any one woman what irritates her the most about her man and I can guarentee you that you will not get the same answer twice. The answers could range from: I am not getting any, to he is a couch potatoe, eats and drinks too much, he's never home, the list could go on and on. Seriously though I do love my husband. However he has one bad habbit in his closet so to speak that really irritates me. For him it's none that I mentioned though cause he definately not a couch potatoe, and neither is he lazy. The constant wrench in his pocket that is constantly driving me nuts is the fact that he will NOT listen to me. Okay he will listen however, what the end result will be may be completely opposite of what you expected. I don't know if he thinks that he knows it all and doesn't need to take any of my suggestions, or he thinks my ideas are completely ludicrous, and or the fact that he is just head strong and he wants to do it his own way and no one else's. I have yet to figure out that one. For example, we have this car. Oh yes the ultimate excuse for a tin can on four wheels that is nothing but a GAS HOG! When I first met my DH he had a wonderful jeep however in his mind he felt that he needed to get another vehicle that was more kid friendly. That I can understand and you hear no complaint from me. So he suggested this car, the very first one that he looked at and "fell" in love with. My response, " Let's keep looking." Did he listen, well lets just say this tin can now sits in our garage taking up unwanted space and as soon as it's paid off, I am looking for another one. However it's more that that. Men seem to think they are the masters of their own organization areas, when in reality if it weren't for the wife nothing would get done properly. This is how bad it is, when your DH comes in asks for his sun glasses only to realize that they had been sitting on top of his head the whole time, LOL. So I ask again, are men real blessings or is there a avenue to explore. Until one is found I will take my DH anytime silly quirks and all.

What you may say may haunt you...

It's a very well known fact that kids are always watching. Not only that, but they are smart and they pick up on everything that you say. You may be going about your day and think that there is no way that your child would ever repeat what you say and then *BINGO* Your precious bundle of joy not only repeated something that you have said but also has embarrassed you beyond words. They are like that and as much as we would like to train them NOT to do that every thing can't be perfect all the time. I bring this up because one night our family was returning home from the store when my DH made the comment that he would like to go to *Hooters. Between us it's just a joke and he would never do that, but with out missing a beat my oldest replied, " You want to go to bugles?" I couldn't help but snicker and to cover up what he had said I intantly agreed. I have one thing to say: Watch out world, you are constantly being watched; by your kids that is.

Holy TERROR!

As a mom I finally figured out what our kids jobs are for. You know in life we get jobs for several reasons. One could be to get money, to erase the bordom from our lives or just to say that we have a job. However kids have a job just to be kids but if you didn't know any better they also have another job. Their job is to not only keep us on our toes, but to make sure our six senses are alert at all times. If you want to see how well your reflexes are just ask a mom near you if you can borrow her rambunxious two year old for a day. I can guarentee that your life will never be the same again. Than when you think that your child has learned a lesson from the last mistake they made you turn around and find them in the same situation trying to do the same thing all over again. Like I said they are constantly testing you and your limits just to see how dexterious you are. I have a 23 mon. old who is always testing the waters just to see how far he can go. The other day we were at a local store and like his older brother he wanted to open the sliding door just to see it how it opens. BIG MISTAKE> The words, "You can't push it open" no sooner escaped from my lips when the door open and WHOOPS the little man got his arm stuck between the two doors. Talk about Holy Terror, and I am left thinking I have another seventeen years and then some of dealing with these little mishaps. Yes kids will be kids but I will say that they are always making our lives a little less boring.

The best part, you'll always be humble.

Let's face it. Kids have a keen way of either making you laugh or keeping you humble. One minute they are laughing with you and the next they make you wish there was a hole beside you that you could crawl in. If it weren't for you kids how would us as parents ever remain so modest? Just like the other night our little family had just gotten off the bus to make the ten minute walk from the street corner to our little house by the stop sign. Yes I live by a stop sign, ha, just for kicks I should start charging them ever time they blow through it. I could make a mint. Anyway we were about two minutes from home when my DS whom I will call charlie grabs his pants and screams "I gotta pee." Okay being the logical person that I am. My response was obviously that we weren't that far away from home and that he could wait. In stead of arguing with me like I thought he would, the little stinker yanks down his pants and starts to go right in the middle of public. Okay it wouldn't have been that bad had it been in just a regular section of woods where there weren't any one to see him, but now and here is where it gets comical. No my son decidedes that he is going to take a leak on church property; talk about holy water. As he is relieving himself I start to notice that a car is coming toward us and even though it was dark out my response was to beg him to start pulling up his pants. I had visions in my head of the police showing up and fining this poor child for relieving himself on church property. In the end he ended up doing his job, embarrassing his mother and no one got in trouble. All I can say is that I hope those flowers are finally happy now that got a little bit of "happy attention."

Honesty, The best Policy?

As a mom I feel that it is neccessary to teach our kids honesty all the time. However there is one draw back. Being honest has it's draw backs. Okay, lying does to, but work with me here. Being honest can do two things, One it can reward you in many ways, and two it can humiliate you beyond words. For instance, tonight I decided to take my two babes to the park to wear them out and it never fails. I am sure that this happens to most moms. No matter how much you beg your sweet innocent babe to go potty BEFORE heading out the door, their response always is: I don't have to. Then five minutes after leaving you hear the dreaded words: MOMMY I HAVE TO GO! It happens in our house about 90% of the time. It so happens that on this evening the park where we were going didn't have public restrooms. There were nothing around but bushes and baseball diamonds. I realize that naked exposure in most states costs you a fine, but come on what are the authorities going to do if they see a four year old peeing behind a bush. You know what they say, when a boy has to go, they really have to go. Can you picture it now a police officer hauling away a four year old cause he was caught with his pants down? I don't think so. If that's the case than the police don't even want to know what happens next. (lol) So, it's seven at night and my DS is happily playing one moment with his brother and the next moment he is making a mad dash towards me while grabbing the back of his pants, screaming: "Mommy, I have to Poop, and that's where the dreaded dilemma happened. What are you to do with a screaming toddler, a baby who is just staring at his brother wondering what in the world is all the screaming is all about? So in a mad dash I pushed him behind a bush and commanded him to go. Okay so before you think I am a bad mother for doing this, just think about this, what would you do if you were stuck in the woods with no out house or bathroom? I mean it's not like he is desecrating anything. Look at dogs, they don't care about where they place there butts, where they stick there noses. All they care about is telling all the other dogs that they are the ones who are now boss and all the other dogs can take a hike. So here this poor child was in the park with no public facility to use and he just had to GO, he couldn't do it at home and neither was he going to be forced into holding it until we were on the way home. What was he to do? Out of quirky sarcasim I said to him, why don't you just go behind the bush. With out missing a beat this kid disappears and when I go and find him I am not surprised. This kid is caught with his pants down to his ankles, and with tears springing from his face he whines: "Mom, I pooed, please wipe me." It was all I could do to try not to fall over with laughter. All I can say is, kids will be kids and they always keep you on your toes whether they blab it to the whole world or not.

From happy ever after to happy NEVER AFTER

Okay, so the title may not be exactly what you would predict but how else would you put this? Picture this, you just got married and things are great. You have visions in your head of life being perfect, have two wonderful kids and than it happens. Your DH comes in, tells you that he doesn't love you anymore, and that he would rather do a plastic doll instead of you. Great you have been replaced by a lifeless plastic toy that doesn't give much pleasure. That should make you feel like a million bucks, or like a million pound pile of dirt. However as time goes on so does your life and you begin to heal. So why is it always the ex that happens to remarry and again tries to re-open old wounds? You know the story, you get a phone call from his woman accusing you of keeping something precious from him that the stupid idiot never wanted in the first place. Than she goes on and on about how hurt her man is because he feels like you lied to him and snatched something precious from his pathetic little life. If it was so pathetic why is she the one crying to you? Why can't he have the BALLS to come forward and say, "Hey, can we meet, there is something I would like to discuss? Why, because he is a nasty slime ball that likes to have others do the dirty work for him while he cowers in dark corners like the slime ball that he is. So, will men ever change, NOPE but in the end we all learn to either love them and accept their flaws or leave them and find happiness in greener pastures.

Four year old Lazy Man?

They say that four year old boys can't be trained to pick up after them selver, but I beg to differ. However I did realize for the first time just how lazy my oldest boy is. When he looks at you after you have told him numerous times to clean up his toys and he has the nerve to reply, No thanks, I am busy cause I am watchin' TV. If you are like me the first feeling that comes to you is shock cause you can't believe that such an innocent child can come out with such a comment. Then comes the next feeling of irritation and you wonder, is this child going to be normal or is he going to be the next couch potatoe only a bit smaller? My opinion is men are all the same even if they are a bit pint size, because men never change.